From the beginning of this horrific journey into repressed memories I searched for meaning. I needed some meaning to justify all this pain. I decided that the meaning would come if I could use this experience to help someone else. So, in this blog I want to pass along some of the things that helped me to navigate the nightmare.
Unconditional Love
Of all the things that have helped me through the stress of remembering my past traumas, unconditional love tops the list. It is rather like massaging warm, silky lotion over a sore body. It eases the hurt.
My favorite source for unconditional love has to be kids. Over and over in my therapy journal I have mentioned heading straight for my grandsons to get hugs after a difficult session. I was so fortunate to have them close and the hugs always helped. Always. Keeping up with their bright minds also creates a wonderful distraction. If you don’t have any young children in your life I’m very sorry. But look around. Perhaps you have friends or relatives who would be willing to share theirs for a little bit.
Pets are another good source. Studies have shown that interacting with an animal decreases your level of cortisol (the stress hormone), increases your oxytocin level (the feel-good hormone), and reduces your blood pressure. And if a pet loves you, they show it. They give unconditional love very freely. Well, maybe not fish. It is really hard to hug a fish. But the aquarium I set up after all this started was very relaxing to watch. Petting and playing with a cat or dog, though, does definitely reduce stress. I was fortunate to already have one of each.
Trusted friends and loved ones can help. I specify “trusted” because people don’t always react the way you expect. The very first friend I confided in promptly vanished from my life which was startling and hurtful. But my daughter and sister have both been incredibly supportive and helpful.
Of course, the greatest source of unconditional love is God. That’s a huge topic so I’ll save it for a post on its own. For the moment I’ll just say that if you have faith in God, hang on tight. If you don’t then I suggest you read His book and learn more about Him. He will amaze you.